Post by javier theodore lionford; on Nov 19, 2011 2:43:25 GMT -5
JAVIER THEODORE LIONFORD, TWENTY-TWO, DJ GROSS - VOCALIST, STRAIGHT, PROMISCUOUS Uhm...not sure what to say. People don't usually ask me to talk a bit about myself. I never really found the need to talk about myself because most of the people I hang with are interested in sex and a good time. Who'd bother with finding the life story of a one night stand? But yeah, I'll stop stalling now. So personality-wise, I think I'm pretty fun to be around. I'm an okay guy to hang out with as long as you're looking to just relax and have fun. I'll party, let loose, get trashed, and even experiment with drugs a little, but I'm not interested in getting hooked onto anything. I like sex with no strings attached, so I have quite a few female friends who like my company. It's not that I hate relationships, but I don't particularly like them either. Very few women manage to make themselves mean anything to me, and what's the point of wasting time in a relationship I couldn't give a damn about? I've had about two meaningful relationships in my life because only two women I met ever meant anything to me, though one of them only reluctantly went out with me because I blackmailed her. Really not that best way to start a relationship, now that I think about it... As for my history, I prefer not to talk about it, but if you really insist, then I'm sure letting the cat out of the bag just once wouldn't be too bad. I was born in Barcelona, Spain to a woman disowned from her wealthy family because she wanted to run off with a man due to her silly belief that she could survive on love. While this new life was very different, she did eventually get the hang of having to work hard to get what she wanted. My birth brought a few financial issues, but my parents managed to get the hang of raising a kid on a limited income. By the time I was five, they felt financially secure and decided that I should have a younger sibling, so my mom got pregnant again with my little sister. They named her Aeryn, and she was born in early December of my kindergarten year during a vacation to Iceland. My parents pulled me out of school a little earlier, since they thought that relaxing while waiting for her birth and having me around to witness the "miracle" was more important than nap time and swapping animal crackers with the cutie that I made friends with. I guess most kids would be sort of pissed about having their parents' attention divided onto another sibling, but I sort of looked forward to having a kid sister to look after. Back around that time, my childhood was pretty normal. I played sports, made friends, crushed on girls, bullied Aer, and all that fun stuff. Then Dad ruined it all. I was twelve, she was seven, and he was a cheater. He decided that even though Mom gave up everything from her old life just for him, it wasn't enough, so he needed to go out and get naked with other women. I mean, if he wants to ruin his relationship with a good woman because he's an idiot, then that's fine with me, but he could have at least done a better job at hiding his little secret. Obviously that sentence implies that he was found out by my mom, and he was. He had the audacity to let his daughter take the brunt of his wife's anger before he ran off with his tail in between his legs, leaving behind nothing but divorce papers and a gambling debt, the latter of which was news to us because we never knew he had a gambling issue in the first place. Meanwhile, my mom threw herself into working in order to avoid thinking about the fact that she wasted some of the best years of her life on the scum of the Earth. To be honest, she became sort of a crappy mother because while I'm sure she still loved us, she had some of the most messed up ideas in the world like marrying for money and stuff. Two years later when things got really difficult, my mom crawled on her hands and knees back to her parents to beg for help. The result was pretty predictable and even I could have told her what would happen, but I let her go and bring my sister with her, only to watch them return looking defeated and upset. Now that I think back on it, I guess I didn't help out much. In fact, I probably made things much worse. Watching the way Aer let Mom push her around made me realize that I was supposed to be the one helping out, and I didn't want to sacrifice my childhood to do that. I decided that the best way to show them that I wasn't reliable was to rebel and get into all sorts of trouble. Since they already had more had enough on their plates, they wouldn't be able to spare any energy into trying to reform me into a good boy, so they would just shake their heads in disappointment and turn away. I wanted that. I made friends with kids who only wanted to party and get wasted, and I would stumble home in the middle of the night dead drunk or high, or I wouldn't even be able to make it home because I was so trashed. The only recreational thing that seemed to have any meaning was my occasional involvement with music, but that wasn't something that I found to be significant even if I had a bit of a natural talent with it. I also started sleeping around as much as I could after I lost my virginity in a one night stand where I acted like I knew what I was doing. The only time I stopped whoring around was when I got my first girlfriend at age sixteen. She was my first love and the only one I was even thinking about sleeping with, but we broke up a year after dating because her ex-boyfriend was apparently better than me in every aspect imaginable. I sulked for a few days before I jumped back into my old habits of a new girl every night, creating the resolution that no girl was really worth the pain I went through in that break up. If I could get sex without the trouble of a meaningless relationship, then why not do it? This continued for about five years until I hit age nineteen. I made it to senior year with C's and D's and graduated, but I never got around to college which meant no career aspirations, no job, and no money. I was a bum who needed to rely on his mom and younger sister for money to get by each day. The only thing that was significant about this year was that dear old Grandma and Grandpa decided to give us some money but only after they booted us to New York, where Aer got to attend some renown Academy while I just wandered around, adjusting to the party scene on a whole new continent. When we were new to the Big Apple, I also came across a pretty rude realization. My beloved baby sister was miserable (much of which was my fault for refusing to help lessen her burden), but she made friends and had a blooming summer romance going on. Was I happy that she had a little joy in her otherwise hard life? Not at all. It took me a while to understand why I hated her active love life so much. Part of me rationalized that I was just that typical overprotective sibling. Another part excused my negativity and hostility for hatred that set in early because I knew she was in store for heartbreak when he left after summer ended. I found out the real reason when I was half drunk and half sober with my friend at a party and told him that she was better off dating me. So of all the things an older brother can say about his sister, claiming that he'd make a boyfriend for her is not one of them. What did happen, however, was a seven day period of me secluding myself at a friend's house to sulk and brood and ponder until I really confirmed that I loved Aer as more than...well...as more than my sister. Everything can see all the things fucked up about that, right? It's not just me? But either way, I've never been one to hide my feelings, and I wasn't about to ask her to elope with me to Vegas so we can do any sort of incest-y marriage ceremony, so when I met a certain Flynn Carter and realized that I was halfway to in love with her, I blackmailed her into dating with me and moved into her apartment to avoid my family and more specifically Aeryn. That summer marked a lot of things for me. I realized I was in love with my own younger sibling. I moved out from my family's place to live with a girlfriend who probably hated me for blackmailing her into a relationship. Lastly, it marked the beginning of the second relationship that I've ever been in after nineteen years of being alive. A year and a half later, Flynn dumped me, telling me that she was bored of sleeping with only me. Admittedly I probably didn't make her feel very loved because although I returned home to her every night, showering her with affection and compliments, I slept around with any female who gave me a second glance. I guess my actions were pretty bad, but the thing with me is that what I'm feeling on the inside is what matters the most, and I'm not secretive at all about my feelings. If a guy hits on my girlfriend, I'll get pissed off and pick a fight with him. I'm possessive and have issues with commitment, but if I claim to love a girl and return to her each and every time even if I was with other women, she means something to me. But either way, Flynn kicked me out, so I moved away to live with a cousin of mine who was attending beauty school while staying on life in the fast lane. She was a pretty avid party girl who also had issues with her parents, so she really related to me. She and I partied together, and we actually managed to get drunk enough to sleep with each other a few times, though she's not about to acknowledge that. I guess she's pretty miffed about incestuous relationships, but it's not like she ever rejected me. And it's not like I was in love with her. I'm attracted to almost every female relative of mine. The only one I'm really in love with is Aer. Again, messed up, I know, but it’s not like I ever plan to act on my feelings. At least I’m trying my best to move on, right? Gotta give me credit for that much. But back to the point. My cousin and I got along pretty well. She always wanted to be a singer, so she had a big thing for karaoke. I would get looped in with her, sometimes playing whatever instrument was thrown in my hands (never mind that anything I attempted to play was a pretty sorry excuse for music and sucked pretty badly most of the time except for the occasional string instrument) and sometimes singing along with her. She winded up introducing me to a few other musicians, and I made friends with one of them and formed a little duo. We called ourselves DJ Gross and mostly sang; the name really suited us pretty well because our lyrics were pretty fucked up and parents would flip a shit on us. Dealing with them all the time made me more of an asshole than I already was. In my eyes, I couldn’t understand why I had to take the blame for a few useless adults who didn’t know how to raise their kids properly and wanted a scapegoat to excuse their bad parenting skills. I was entitled to say whatever the hell I wanted, inappropriate or not. Other people are entitled to ignore me or listen. But either way, singing wasn’t that bad, so I winded up sticking around (and really, living luxuriously because of my newfound fame was pretty damn awesome). I can’t say I was ever the nicest guy around though. I treat my fans and critics the same way; I flirt shamelessly, thoughtlessly throw around some stupid comments, and so on and so forth. They’re really all the same if you think about it except one group likes me while the other hates me; none of them really know me. Sure, they know about my reputation, but I think I’m deeper than what people conclude from the way I act. As far as I’m concerned, they’re all strangers, so I treat them that way. Meanwhile, even though I pretty much cut off all contact with my sister and my mom, I couldn't avoid them any longer for one reason and one reason only. When Aer was sixteen (meaning I was twenty-one), Mom found out she was following in my footsteps and was beginning to whore around a little for money like she was some sort of prostitute. I was pissed and wanted to kill every guy who used her like that. Mom was pissed that she misinterpreted her words into selling herself out and threw herself out of the window, dying upon impact after falling past six stories. Aer began blaming herself, and that was pretty much the signal for me to jump into big brother mode to protect her and reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong. At the news of the suicide, our lovely relatives decided to step in and take some action. Our financial burdens were lifted, and they rented out a pretty luxurious apartment for signed under my name because I was legally an adult by that point. They sort of expected me to go back to New York to take care of her, but I didn’t want to do it. I’m hardly mature and responsible enough to take care of myself properly, much less my younger sister, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave DJ Gross behind to raise a sibling that was probably better off with me gone anyway. I paid Aeryn a visit, wished her well, and promised to call every once in a while to let her know I was alright before I left again to do my own thing. I never thought I’d find myself on tour, but here I am. PIXIE, 133741043, PM |
