Post by ( P A P A R A Z Z I ) on Dec 12, 2011 19:01:10 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2] THERE'S LOVE IN THE AIR [div style="font-family: arial narrow; font-size: 9px; letter-spacing: 1px; text-align:justify; width: 400px; line-height: 8px; color: #031d26;[b"]]and it's unexpectedly coming from DJ Gross's |
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JAVIER & NANA !
[/td][/tr][tr][td][atrb=width,240][atrb=style,border-radius: 0em; -moz-border-radius: 0em;background-image:url(http://media.bigoo.ws/content/background/paper/paper_35.jpg), width 400px; height: 400px;][atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=width,200,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-color: #423c42;,true][cs=2][/td][/tr][tr][td][atrb=width,200][atrb=style,border-radius: 0em; -moz-border-radius: 0em;background-image:url('http://i589.photobucket.com/albums/ss334/Midori-chii/Step_031.jpg'), width 400px; height: 400px;][atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=width,200,true]As some of you may recall—actually, who am I kidding? I know you all remember everything from the last issue—but I’ll be nice and give you a short recap. Aphrodite Emmahaust from All That’s Love, little girl that needs a little love? Yeah, well sources say she’s found it from a certain guy from Forever Cursed who was also on the last issue (hint: on the front page). Apparently he was up to his mischievous ways again and pulled a prank on her, so when she showed up at one of his concerts, he was pretty sure he was going to get his ass handed to him even though the little redhead essentially has no temper. He approached her, turned on the charm in hopes of facilitating her anger, and next you know it, they’re on a coffee date. I feel like someone just tossed a little sheep into the jaws of a hungry wolf. But I guess they'd make a cute couple. Their little theme can be depressed sweethearts or something. Now let's just hope that the big, bad wolf doesn't eat up everything that little sheep has and then leave her heartbroken.
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As we’ve established several times already, it’s never good to leave a whores alone with others. That’s why it’s really a questionable matter why anyone would let a guy be the manager of With Your Friends. Isaac Warren probably doesn’t mind his job too much, and the whores he manages probably don’t mind too much either. After all, what’s better than having quick access to a guy when they’re feeling a little too sex-deprived? They probably have a bunch of group sex in that tour bus of theirs. I wouldn’t put it below them, but I can’t tell whether the idea is kinky or sort of nasty. Anyone can feel free to share what he or she thinks. Unfortunately, I think Mr. Strict and Stoic might have a little soft spot for a certain Mandy Taylor. He always seems to like being closer to her than to any of the other girls. Maybe she’s the least slutty or something. She dresses like it, but I hear she’s still a virgin. Wannabe whore much? But maybe that’s just his type. I hope he’s better at controlling his favoritism than he is his dick. Can you imagine what sort of fits they’d be in store for if everyone else found out?
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To end on a semi-pleasant note, have you guys checked out the new bands yet? I heard that there’s a female screamer in one of the bands. Pretty damn awesome, if you ask me. And apparently there’s an attention whore on the run too, but those are always fun to keep track of. They’re like magnets for more drama, and you all know that reading up about scandals is irresistible. It’s human nature to like to hear all sorts of shit about other people. Anyway, everyone give the newbs a warm welcome and some nice applause. They’ll need it because they’re definitely not getting it from me.
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As we’ve established several times already, it’s never good to leave a whores alone with others. That’s why it’s really a questionable matter why anyone would let a guy be the manager of With Your Friends. Isaac Warren probably doesn’t mind his job too much, and the whores he manages probably don’t mind too much either. After all, what’s better than having quick access to a guy when they’re feeling a little too sex-deprived? They probably have a bunch of group sex in that tour bus of theirs. I wouldn’t put it below them, but I can’t tell whether the idea is kinky or sort of nasty. Anyone can feel free to share what he or she thinks. Unfortunately, I think Mr. Strict and Stoic might have a little soft spot for a certain Mandy Taylor. He always seems to like being closer to her than to any of the other girls. Maybe she’s the least slutty or something. She dresses like it, but I hear she’s still a virgin. Wannabe whore much? But maybe that’s just his type. I hope he’s better at controlling his favoritism than he is his dick. Can you imagine what sort of fits they’d be in store for if everyone else found out?
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To end on a semi-pleasant note, have you guys checked out the new bands yet? I heard that there’s a female screamer in one of the bands. Pretty damn awesome, if you ask me. And apparently there’s an attention whore on the run too, but those are always fun to keep track of. They’re like magnets for more drama, and you all know that reading up about scandals is irresistible. It’s human nature to like to hear all sorts of shit about other people. Anyway, everyone give the newbs a warm welcome and some nice applause. They’ll need it because they’re definitely not getting it from me.
Whores are everywhere, but I’m starting to think the worst case is from DJ Gross. But I guess that’s not too big of a surprise considering we always knew that the members of the band must be pretty fucked up in the head with the way every song they produce has a bunch of random swearing and sexual innuendos. So for the first time, the ‘rents have scored a point on their offspring, That’s such a shame to the meticulous teenage record of being right about everything because adults just don’t understand.
Anyway, am I the only one who seriously doubts Javier Lionford and Nana Fenty are just friends-slash-coworkers? Let’s take a nice tour of why “just friends” is impossible for a pair of screw-ups like them:
He’s a man-whore who fucks any chick who thinks he’s good-looking. Everyone knows that, of course. Just about every girl who’s seen him before can advocate for the fact that he’s hit on her once he laid eyes on her. Aha. Laid. Get it? Of course you do. Aside from being voted most likely to have a myriad of STDs by age thirty, most people would also probably vote him biggest asshole on the tour. Every guy has at least some sense of chivalry or decency. He, however, does not. The dude’s like a barbaric caveman from the Ice Ages. Sure, he has a pretty face, but personality counts too. It’s safe to say that we’ve established that he’s a shameless whore with bad manners. Now you’d think he had a few good traits to counteract that suckiness. Call me when you find some. Oh, and ladies? Remember to use protection if you’re desperate enough to test him out. I don’t think he’s going to stick around long if he gets the news that you’re having his baby. If he was willing to leave his poor, defenseless younger sister a few states away, what do you think would happen to you?
And let’s be honest here. Nana is pretty much his female equivalent. She’s a slut, and she seems pretty damn proud of it with the way she always looks half-dressed. (But maybe she just looks that way because she and Jav like to have a quick fuck right before they appear before the poor public.) From what I’ve been hearing, she likes to sleep around a lot too, and her ritual is pretty much to get high, fuck first, talk never. If you’re trying to be optimistic, then I guess you could call it being overly friendly. Ding, ding, ding. I think we found out Miss Congeniality over here. I’m actually really surprised that she hasn’t accidentally gotten knocked up yet. I’d pity the kid who has her for a mom though. A little birdy told me that she actually has a pretty interesting past involving some illegal marital vows. Maybe she was a gold-digger before she hit the jackpot in the form of DJ Gross. Who would want to sleep around with sleazebags if you can hit celeb status and sleep with the guys with big reps who surround you?
But in conclusion, I think it’s safe to say that they would be perfect for each other, and they probably realize it too. There’s no way they’re not sleeping with each other, considering they’re both huge whores, but the main thing is that they’re suited for a happily ever after. Do I hear wedding bells in the future? And if not, then they should at least begin with dating. Anyway, that’s really all I’ve got for now, but I’m always on the lookout for more. Remember, you know where you heard it first.
[/td][/tr][/table][/center]Anyway, am I the only one who seriously doubts Javier Lionford and Nana Fenty are just friends-slash-coworkers? Let’s take a nice tour of why “just friends” is impossible for a pair of screw-ups like them:
He’s a man-whore who fucks any chick who thinks he’s good-looking. Everyone knows that, of course. Just about every girl who’s seen him before can advocate for the fact that he’s hit on her once he laid eyes on her. Aha. Laid. Get it? Of course you do. Aside from being voted most likely to have a myriad of STDs by age thirty, most people would also probably vote him biggest asshole on the tour. Every guy has at least some sense of chivalry or decency. He, however, does not. The dude’s like a barbaric caveman from the Ice Ages. Sure, he has a pretty face, but personality counts too. It’s safe to say that we’ve established that he’s a shameless whore with bad manners. Now you’d think he had a few good traits to counteract that suckiness. Call me when you find some. Oh, and ladies? Remember to use protection if you’re desperate enough to test him out. I don’t think he’s going to stick around long if he gets the news that you’re having his baby. If he was willing to leave his poor, defenseless younger sister a few states away, what do you think would happen to you?
And let’s be honest here. Nana is pretty much his female equivalent. She’s a slut, and she seems pretty damn proud of it with the way she always looks half-dressed. (But maybe she just looks that way because she and Jav like to have a quick fuck right before they appear before the poor public.) From what I’ve been hearing, she likes to sleep around a lot too, and her ritual is pretty much to get high, fuck first, talk never. If you’re trying to be optimistic, then I guess you could call it being overly friendly. Ding, ding, ding. I think we found out Miss Congeniality over here. I’m actually really surprised that she hasn’t accidentally gotten knocked up yet. I’d pity the kid who has her for a mom though. A little birdy told me that she actually has a pretty interesting past involving some illegal marital vows. Maybe she was a gold-digger before she hit the jackpot in the form of DJ Gross. Who would want to sleep around with sleazebags if you can hit celeb status and sleep with the guys with big reps who surround you?
But in conclusion, I think it’s safe to say that they would be perfect for each other, and they probably realize it too. There’s no way they’re not sleeping with each other, considering they’re both huge whores, but the main thing is that they’re suited for a happily ever after. Do I hear wedding bells in the future? And if not, then they should at least begin with dating. Anyway, that’s really all I’ve got for now, but I’m always on the lookout for more. Remember, you know where you heard it first.